Physical Attraction/Classical Romance

Director - Richard Mailer

Cast - Paul Thomas, David Cannon, Shanna McCullough, Jacqueline Lorians

Country of Origin - U.S.

Discs - 1

Distributor - Vinegar Syndrome

Reviewer - Steve Lewis

Date - 09/26/2016

"Physical Attraction"

 

The Film (2.5/5)

 

Bobbi’s call girl gig grows tiresome with each john her pimp Luther arranges appointments with for her to make him as much money as possible. When she happens to run alongside a fellow recreational runner named Ed, also passionate running coach, Bobbie’s presented an opportunity to leave turning tricks and Luther behind her for good as Ed offers her a once in a lifetime chance to train for and compete in the Olympic trials. As Bobbi and Ed form more than just a professional relationship, the former prostitute spends most of her days and nights in the arms of her newfound coach and lover without giving notice to Luther of her departure from his ring, but Luther’s grip tightens and his inability to let go of one of his most profitable girls leads toward physical abuse and instilled fear toward Bobbi.

 

Shanna McCullough stars in “Physical Attraction” with a story driven plot about a girl journeying through her lowest depths toward the possibility of reaching life fulfillment gold hailed from the late director Richard Mailer and written by the trashy-romantic screenwriter Will Kelly. From the moment McCullough awakes from her slumber after a client’s paid nightly service, freshly coming off sleep without any clothes on, her body exemplifies a phenomenal example of our Creator’s outstanding sculptural work. The red head’s milky skin tone blends seamlessly into her areolas and up up into her nipples that are placed perfectly center upon her perky and round inviting breasts.  And even though, yes, McCullough is just another pretty face and body amongst an ocean of stag film starlets in the Golden era of porn, the then 23-24 year old actress stands out showcasing her acting layers that accompany her physique.  As soon as her character wipes the sleep from her eyes, Bobbi’s engaged into a patron’s egotistical horniness, a role filled by Greg Derek, and McCullough, as sex performers surely do during scenes, plays the facade of enjoying her and her partner’s sexual entanglement, rolling her eyes in discontent and vocalizing unenthusiastically about his dedication to being the best with whom she’s ever had the pleasure.  Even if the sex is more-or-less the same from any other scene, her dissatisfaction makes the scene edge out most others, especially in the rest of “Physical Attraction.”

 

Setting up the sex scenes bares the resemblance of the usual rushed and cut-to romping fare containing no real substance before jumping right into the removal of clothing and the filling of orifices. Male leads Craig Roberts (Luther) and David Connon (Ed) failed to create enticement presence with their apathetic bedside performances.  Aside from Roberts’ entertaining, yet sappy, imitation of a backhanding pimp and his slight ability to forcibly maneuver women into the positions he desires,  a rock has more personality to contribute.  The female cast is a whole another animal.  Pamela Mann and her mammoth natural breasts swing like sandbags when steaming up in scenes with Craig Roberts and going sixty-nine on lawn chair lesbian outdoor performance with Shanna McCullough, but when she turns a trick with Frank James, Mann looked very uncomfortable and rigid; she kept glancing at the camera with such distortions on her face that the scene lost it’s epicurean moment. The every changing Bunny Blue pairs twice with Craig Roberts as his devoted go-to squeeze and her enthusiasm fills the void lacking from Roberts and Cannon. Finally, two blond vixens portrayed by Lisa Lake and Valerie Love get their own sweaty workout done in the weight room involving the sudden appearance of dildo (not a dumbbell), spotting one another in their crotch exercises!

 

As the first film featured on Vinegar Syndrome's latest Peekarama Big 2 Unit Shows, the sultriness of "Physical Attraction" lays the ground work for this fairly obscure director on this double billed, restored DVD. The chop-chop pace puts a pedestal knocking notch in Bobbi's reaching for the sky story, clearly taking a backseat to penetration.  The Cottonwood production is no erotic-comedy as Mailer instills a dramatic undertone on the top of Will Kelly's script about this young and poor girl being taken advantage of by her destitute lifestyle and now she's cracked window spilling a ray of hope that's teetering on the edge.  "Physical Attraction" can be an uplifting film, but there are a ton of screwing reps.  So, yeah, there's that and so get your sweat band out, wipe down your yoga mat, and make sure you stretch before taking on this workout of a film.

 

 

"Classical Romance"

 

The Film (3/5)

 

Eric, a talented piano player, can’t shake the frustration resulting from something sorely missing from his life.  While performing as an outdoor lounge pianist for an upscale restaurant, Eric comes moonstruck by the beautiful Laura who frequently patronizes his company from the moment they met.  Eric and Laura’s passion becomes sidelined by his pursuit for a career as a classic piano artist and her obsessive, cheating husband. Will the smitten lovers overcome life’s protruding difficulties and find themselves in each other arms or will they ultimately succumb to the external obstacles that are forcing them away from their true romance?

 

“Classical Romance” is the superior film on the Richard Mailer double feature from Vinegar Syndrome Peekarama label with a far more compelling romance storyline accompanied with a vast in tantalizing and multifarious sexual performances.  The tall with bold blue eyes Paul Thomas fits perfectly as an engaging performer within the struggling pianist role of Eric, playing in key with the role without having to burden himself with actually learning how to play the piano. Opposite Thomas is the fierce redhead Jacqueline Lorians with a face full of freckles and a thirst for quenching a scene as Laura.  David Cannon makes a second appearance in another Mailer film as a sex-crazed lifeguard named Tommy and this time around Cannon is more lively, but still very stiff - no pun intended.  Another highlight casting is Desiree Lane as Eric's nose-candy lovin' girlfriend Monica, seeking to become the front woman of her fantasy band with Eric behind the ivories.

 

Another WIll Kelly script at work here that proves happy endings are just as satisfying as they are at a Vietnamese massage parlor, but the script bounces in different directions, rendering Eric either a complete jerk or a wavering emotional wreck. Eric falls madly for Laura and makes an effort to track her down by way of best bud Tommy's fling, a two-film Mailer vixen Valerie Love, for Laura's number only to pace back-and-forth with impatience before her inevitable call.  At the same time, Eric gets his johnson wet in just as many scenes with girlfriend Monica including a threesome setup with the round faced Renee Summers to brighten his day. Even if Eric's slight reluctance of Monica's advances are well-intended, Eric gets right into the swing of the moment when clothes to frantically shed from flesh; however, I imagine nothing says, "I love you, Laura" more than a tit-banging during a night of romance with her to top a threesome with your girlfriend and her friend.

 

Compared to "Physical Attraction," "Classical Romance" scores higher with more throwaway roles. Along with Valerie Love's one scene with David Cannon, the early beginnings of a blonde Bunny Bleu within her first year and the innocently goofy-splayed faced on a tight bodied blonde Cynthia Brooks get in respective scenes with Herschel Savage as a mistress and another scene for David Cannon getting busy with a ditzy surfer chick, perfect for Brooks, in his enclosed lifeguard shack.   Mr. Mustard aka Grey Poúpon aka Richard Mailer attacked from every angle, position, and actor to squeeze in as many scenes as possible and though these throwaway scenes are uselessly hot, I'm grateful for their additional character exposition gratuitous existence.

 

Audio/Video (3/5)

 

Vinegar Syndrome's Peekarama Big 2 Unit Show of the 1984 releases "Physical Attraction" and "Classical Romance" are presented in an anamorphic widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio, scanned and restored in 2k from their original 16mm negatives.  Both films pop with natural color with very little-to-no print damage.  The darks are burdened with significant digital noise in "Classical Romance," but enhancing the darker colors may have led to blotchy enhancements.  The issue is fairly minor without a major disruption. Some framing issues with "Classical Romance" too, but I believe this lies on the shoulders of the director and not so much the cropping of the distributor. 

 

The mono Dolby Digital mix is solid on both films. All dialogue is prevalent and unmolested with no hisses, pops, or any other distortions emitted. Again, "Classical Romance" has a minor issue with the audio being a bit soft at times.  Chopin comes in crystal clear along with the Shelton John and Joyce Lucas' "Piano Man" track during Paul Thomas and Jacqueline Lorains' horrendous duo mock of tickling the ivories. 

 

Extras (0.5/5)

 

Only extras are the original theatrical trailer for "Classical Romance."

 

Overall

 

The Richard Mailer feature films are well executed in their simplicity and socially relevant nature.  A rather refreshing concept for an industry that usually leans toward balls to the wall ideas - again, no pun intended. The Will Kelly scripts focuses more on the characters and their hardships to keep motivation and pace, plugging in jizz-flying intercourse along the way to certifiably create an adult film.  Another great looking Vinegar Syndrome release to seal the deal for the two refreshed porn classic. Recommended!