Evilution

Director - Chris Conlee

Cast - Eric Peter-Kaiser, Sandra Ramirez

Country of Origin - U.S.

Discs - 1

MSRP - $19.99

Distributor - Music Video Distributors

Reviewer - Ryan Miller

     Evilution Review

 

     If ever there were a film that is not to be judged by cover art alone, it would certainly be Evilution. A title like Evilution clearly indicates the hyper-cliche'd camp of it's contents, mainly concerning the possibility that a bright third grader may very well have turned in a short story with a similar namesake and/or plot, which I assure you is more likely than you'd think. However, I say this not because it's not an obviously cliched B-movie, but because I figured it was an action thriller. The cover did several things for me, all of them positive. It's got explosions, fighter jets, DNA, bio-hazard symbols, and a cracked-out man holding and assault sniper rifle and hypodermic needle all on one incredibly aesthetically pleasing set of colors. Long story short, I really liked the cover, which of course made it difficult to want to watch a movie that could ruin a perfectly good cover.
   Evilution opens on a military base of some sort, where an experiment has gone bat-shit bananas turning cannibals into acrobats. Classic. When the government realizes there is no possible way to contain these zombies, they drop a nuke. Our main character, Darren, in an unexplained twist, somehow survives this bomb. Thing is, he also takes the last remaining container of magic zombie-juice with him.
   ...waitaminute...magic zombie-juice? That doesn't sound right. It's actually an alien life form with little to no explanation behind it, until near the end. The kicker is that the alien life form possesses resurrection capabilities on humans. In short, magic zombie-juice.
   As it turns out, Darren was one of the scientists reluctantly developing this for the military. On the surface of this cardboard thin film, you see the protagonist, Darren, as a medical hero trying to cure death, as he has tragically lost someone. Below that surface, I saw a mad scientist. Darren escaped a nuclear warhead and went into hiding to inject aliens into whatever subject is available at the time. For most of the movie, the guinea pig he uses is actually a mouse. Later he graduates to Mexican gang leaders, because you can imagine how well that will go.
   The run time for the film is about an hour and thirty minutes. Unfortunately, with the exception of the first few minutes, crazy-awesome-zombie-action-survival sequences don't even show up until the last thirty minutes. The first hour is pretty much dedicated to having completely unbelievable characters have awkward interactions that would never occur in real life. First we have the socially awkward hot girl. She doesn't seem to realize she's attractive. She's also desperate for someone, anyone, to take an interest in her. Then we have the bumbling group of hoodlums, who constantly harass Darren. The leader of this gang might be schizophrenic. He can't make up his mind as to whether he wants to respect Darren, or take a shit on his life. The two become fast friends.
   After a terrible off screen shooting, the gang leader is sewn up by the benevolent doctor. After another terrible off screen shooting, the gang leader is brought back to life by the good doctor. Hilarity ensues.
     As one might expect, Evilution is perfectly average. Actually, it's almost painfully average. There is nothing particularly pants-shitting-ly awesome nor is there anything underwhelming. Nothing is all that special, except for maybe the gang members, but I more or less mean special-ed. The acting was just okay. It is for this reason nothing stands out in this film from a technical stand point. It wasn't good, but I had fun watching it. On a 5 scale I'll give it a 2.5/5. I give the cover a 5 though. That's gotta stand for something, right?

-Ryan!

2.5/5