I Am Virgin Review
You know those people who say that sex is like pizza; that even when it’s bad, it’s good. Those are the people who are willing to settle and I can proudly say that I’m not one of them. I don’t settle on the quality of my sex life and I especially do not settle on the quality of my pizza. But these principles do not apply to my movies. In fact, I absolutely ADORE bad movies. The combination of these two quirks in my personality made my discovery of I Am Virgin a real treat. A soft core porn parody of I Am Legend didn’t sound like anything special on paper, but it turned out to be a delicious mix of film student quality humor that actually works and legitimately sexy smut.
Now, I’m a woman who enjoys her porn and if I had to recommend a Skinamax film to watch with a woman, it would be this one. The gimmick of the film is that an epidemic has broken out turning all the women into sex hungry vampires and there is this one guy who was so deeply shamed by his parents that he is holding onto his virginity and desperately seeking “the right girl” so he can finally get laid. One of the best things about the movie for me was that the male lead was actually charming in his own weird way. Any woman who had sex in high school occasionally misses that look of nervous, grateful adoration that boys get the first time encountering a real life naked girl and this guy manages to deliver it. The actor, Adam Davis takes his part and plays it with the same sort of “aw shucks” sweetness that is keeping Shia Labeouf working.
A male actor that can turn women on is the sign of a higher quality skin flick. And the buck didn’t stop there; it was actually pretty decently made film. The movie laughed at itself with parody of zombie films like Dawn of the Dead and silly references to I Am Legend that included a basset hound in place of Will Smith’s German Shepherd. Laughter proves itself to actually be an aphrodisiac because it brings a sort of playful vibe to watching this movie that reminds you of teasing a significant other in bed. What really made it stand out production wise was the music. We all laugh about the sort of synthesizer jazz that comes to mind with soft core porn but I personally wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between the music in this film and something by Buckethead.
But the above average production value isn’t what made this movie refreshing and sexy for me. It’s that everyone in this movie is so damn attractive, men and women alike. They may all be wearing cheap fangs, but it does nothing to distract from the fact that every female in I Am Virgin is a work of art. It’s as if the world ended and all that survived were the roaches and Suicide Girls. They have high quality tattoos painted over real life bodies and their own personality. Minus a little cameo by Ron Jeremy all the men are lookers too, spreading a wide range of physical types; beefy lumberjack and Mohawk skater alike. Conceivably to reach out to more women, which I think is a hidden agenda of the film. There’s a little something extra there in the fact that the couples make an attempt to portray concepts of chemistry. They make jokes to each other, rather than dirty puns to the audience and flirt like real people instead of talking sex dolls.
I Am Virgin was a fun movie and a sexy adult film, which I would never have guessed before watching it. I wouldn’t be surprised to see it become one of the silly, smutty classics like Debbie Does Dallas. If you like movies or naked people, you’ll be able to find something you like in it.
Star Rating: 5/5