Same Time Every Year

Director - Fred J. Lincoln

Cast - Ron Jeremy, Paul Thomas

Country of Origin - U.S.

Discs - 1

Distributor - Synapse

Reviewer - Bobby Morgan

Date - 04/27/13

The Film: 2/5

 

Every year a group of suburban husbands get together to attend a lawyersí convention, or at least thatís the story they tell their wives. In truth the guys head out to a ďsex resortĒ for the weekend to indulge their lusty urges while thinking their significant others are none the wiser. But the wives have known all along and while their hubbies are away have their own plans for enjoying the pleasures of male company.

 

Thatís about it for the plot. Plot schmot I say. This is porn and such pretensions of storytelling and quality filmmaking have been traded in for tons of hardcore rutting. Same Time Every Time was one of more than 300 porno flicks directed by Fred J. Lincoln of Last House on the Left fame over the course of nearly four decades. The year before Same Time was released Lincoln had directed the truly incompetent Serena: An Adult Fairy Tale (also available from Impulse). Serena had awful pacing, poorly staged sex scenes, and acting that barely rises above the level of a middle school play. Not much has improved where Same Time is concerned but at least this time Lincoln allows his cast to ply their trade outdoors as well as in, unlike the claustrophobic Serena. The first twenty minutes or so of this flick is devoted to the husbands saying farewell to the wives for the weekend in the way that an XXX movie demands: oral, anal, and everything in between.

 

The only actor I recognized in the cast was the great Ron Jeremy as the horny chauffeur. He gets to have a three-way with two ladies in a swimming pool. The sex scenes in this movie are actually better filmed and edited than in Lincolnís last feature and thereís plenty of variety in couplings and locations. Two women get it on with a horse watching, and Iím not sure what that is supposed to imply but fortunately whatever is on the horseís mind the movie never goes there. I would classify this as hardcore but compared to the more extreme smut on the market itís practically vanilla pudding. Plot is non-existent, dialogue consists of the characters mentioning slang terms for their genitalia and what they would like their prospective sexual partners to do with them. Thatís the best you can hope for with a movie like Same Time Every Year. For a work of pornography it gets by barely, but compared to Serena itís good enough to win an Oscar.

 

Audio/Video: 1/5

 

Oh come on now Impulse. After your sterling work on the Nikkatsu films this is a real letdown. Same Time is presented in a 16x9 enhanced 1.85:1 widescreen transfer that is absolutely terrible on the eyes. Looking like it was taken from a heavily degraded print with no one bothering with the most modest of restoration, the print quality is rife with very noticeable signs of damage and decay, including scratches and occasional frame skips. It's a safe bet that this is no better than the transfer for the 2006 Alpha Blue Archives release. The English 2.0 mono audio track is about the same in terms of overall quality; the sound mix is annoyingly off-balance with wavering volume levels that can be too loud at times. I wouldn't recommend watching this movie if you live in an apartment with thin walls. No subtitles are included.

 

Extras: 0/5

 

Impulse did not think to include any bonus features. Why bother when the movie is this horrid?

 

Overall: 1/5

 

Same Time Every Year isnít high art, but who cares? Itís an adult movie that does an adequate job at what it is meant to do. Shame it was given such a piss poor DVD presentation by a company that should know better because it has done better. Your call, perverts.