Death Smiles on a Murderer (1973)

a.k.a. La morte ha sorriso all’assassino

When a mysterious woman arrives at a villa in a horse-drawn carriage which topples over giving her amnesia, it sets off a strange series psychosexual events that lead to murder and revenge from beyond the grave. This gothic horror film co-starring Klaus Kinski is an interesting anomaly in D’Amato’s filmography. It has a very eerie dreamlike quality that feels more like something Jess Franco or maybe Antonio Margheriti would have made and is one of D’Amato’s better films, surprising considering how early it came in his film career. I imagine an alternate reality where perhaps D’Amato was castrated in a terrible crocheting accident and lost his interest in porn and gore, paving the way for more eerie, weird films like this one.

Porno Holocaust (1981)

Man… From one extreme to the other. If Death Smiles on a Murderer represents Joe D’Amato at his best, Porno Holocaust is D’Amato maybe at his worst. First off, the movie is more porno than holocaust with very little beyond random fucking happening in the first hour. Once the monster does eventually show up, it’s laughably stupid-looking. I think D’Amato realizes this so just goes back to the constant sex again. Like others like Sex & Black Magic, I think he was just looking for reasons to stay in the Dominican Republic longer and get George Eastman laid.

Devil’s Wedding Night (1973)

a.k.a. Il plenilunio delle vergini

Here we have another gothic horror D’Amato was involved with. While initially working on this on cinematography duties, after the film wrapped, the producer wasn’t happy with the results and asked D’Amato to go back and do re-shoots. I don’t know what D’Amato added vs. Luigi Batzella, the original director, but this hybrid of the more dream-like atmospheric Death Smiles on a Murderer and the more sleazy, gory D’Amato films that would come later is pretty decent regardless. The plot involves Countess Dracula luring virgins to her castle, which happens once every fifty years, to sacrifice them and bathe in their blood to gain power. In a rather unlikely turn of events, twin brothers happen to show up to the castle on the same evening all this sacrificing is taking place. While this one does have some slow parts, there are also some pretty cool visuals as well. The scene of Countess Dracula rising naked from the blood bath is very memorable as is a bizarre dream sequence in the middle of the movie that feels like something out of Jess Franco’s Venus in Furs or Succubus. Pretty good movie if you can find a decent-looking transfer (Code Red released a solid blu-ray of it but most versions out there look like faded hot garbage).

Sexy Pirates (1999)

a.k.a. I predatori delle Antille

So looking at the box art on this DVD, I thought this was going to be one of D’Amato’s sleazy direct-to-video historical porns. Imagine my surprise when as I’m watching it I realize it seems to be D’Amato legitimately attempting to make a more straightforward swashbuckling pirate movie (albeit with a little skin on display). It’s the story of a well-to-do woman whose husband is kidnapped and held ransom by pirates. When no one will help her, she decides to go after him herself, recruiting a legendary pirate from the Tortugas to aid in her quest. The production is obviously a cheap one with some subpar acting and cheap sets in places, but I do give credit to D’Amato for giving it the ol’ college try and avoiding the temptation to slide in random gratuitous sex scenes (in fact there’s very little nudity at all despite how the movie is advertised). Frankly it gets a little dull in places, but that’s also partially my general boredom with swashbuckling movies in general. I’d be interested to see what someone who’s into classic Errol Flynn pictures would make of this.

Emanuelle’s Revenge (1975)

a.k.a. Emanuelle e Françoise (Le sorelline)

Emanuelle (the fake Emanuelle with only one ‘m’) & Françoise was D’Amato’s first attempt at mixing horror and sex elements together and resulted in a weird, creepy stew of rutting and drug-induced mania. When Emanuelle’s sister Françoise kills herself after being humiliated and treated like garbage by her husband Carlo, Emanuelle concocts a strange, fucked up revenge. She kidnaps Carlo and locks him in a secret room with a two-way mirror, forcing him to watch her commit various sexual perversions without letting him get in on the action. She also occasionally drugs him, sending him on twisted hallucinations involving cannibalism and murder. Co-written and with uncredited co-directing work by Bruno Mattei, D’Amato’s camera wallows in debauchery while George Eastman moans and foams at the mouth at a distance. The character motivations seem cartoonishly extreme in places, but I will say that at least it’s somewhat refreshing to see an inverse roughie where the woman wields the power.

Killing Birds: Raptors (1987)

Some students show up at a creepy old Texas Chainsaw Massacre-style house hoping to get a glimpse of a rare woodpecker (yea, I dunno…). What they don’t know is that a horrible string of murders occurred at the house twenty years prior and that the souls of the dead are restless and looking to kill. First off, a better name for this movie would be “Killing COMMA Birds” as it’s mostly zombies doing the killing (aside from one dumbass who accidentally kills himself by getting his necklace stuck in a generator) while birds mostly just chill in cages and occasionally tear some eyeballs out. Also the movie was released in some territories as Zombie 5: Killing Birds, but like every other movie in the Zombie “franchise”, it’s pretty much unrelated to anything else in the series. So the history on this one is somewhat notable to mention. Looking at the credits of the film, you will only see Claudio Lattanzi listed as director. From accounts of various cast and crew on set though, Lattanzi, who was a first time director with little experience in this kind of position, mostly just hung around the set as D’Amato actually directed most of the film. D’Amato at the time said that Lattanzi would direct dialogue and D’Amato would do the special effects sequences, although later in life D’Amato would basically claim he pretty much directed the whole thing which is more in line with what others involved remembered. It’s speculated D’Amato let Lattanzi have the credit for tax purposes since D’Amato was also producer on the film. Regardless, this movie is chock full of stupid characters doing dumb things that get them killed in increasingly entertaining ways, so horror fans who don’t take themselves too seriously will probably have fun with it.

Contamination .7 (1993)

Also sometimes called The Crawlers, this one is a flick about tree roots that have mutated due to radioactive waste dumping and proceed to constrict and murder anyone who gets too close to them. Can the EPA destroy nature before it’s too late for man!?!? Here’s another one with uncredited co-directing work from D’Amato although there doesn’t seem to be much info out there on what exactly he vs. Fabrizio Laurenti directed. If I had to hazard a guess though, I’d think D’Amato was at least responsible for some of the effects work which definitely looks like his particular brand of goopy and silly. Like Killing Birds, this is another movie that has a tacked on, completely unrelated title in some territories to sell more copies (Troll 3 in this case) and some entertainingly ridiculous death scenes, in this case involving tree roots grabbing and eating people. Actually I think Contamination .7 and Killing Birds would make for a pretty good double feature for a party.

Ator, the Fighting Eagle (1982)

a.k.a. Ator l’invincibile

Of course Joe D’Amato had to get in on the barbarian fantasy trend of the early ‘80s. You know this story, right? Ator’s birth is prophesied to put an end to the Spider Cult’s reign so they attempt to kill the baby. But he’s hidden away and adopted by some random folks in a small village. Jump forward 20 years or so, Ator is about to get married. Unfortunately that pesky Spider Cult rides into town and murders his bride-to-be which leads him on a fated quest for vengeance. In general, this is pretty shitty, especially when compared to something like Fulci’s Conquest. The whole thing looks cut-rate like a bunch of LARPers running around hacking at each other. Fans of bad movies though will find lots to feast on here from the dull acting to the cheap sets and effects.