Nothing Underneath (1985) is the story of Bob Boyle, a boy whose parents just moved to New England- woops, wrong Bob! This film is about Bob Crane (Tom Schanley), a Yellowstone (or Giallostone if you will) National Park ranger, who travels to Milan to find out what happened to his twin sister after he psychically senses that she’s been murdered. He teams up with Police Commissioner Danesi (Donald Pleasence) who, despite his skepticism that a crime has even occurred, wants to help this hick out. As more models turn up dead, the case takes our unlikely duo into the seedy underbellies of both the fashion industry and the Wendy’s salad bar.
Nothing Underneath is barely based on a best-selling Italian novel that served as an expose into the world of Italian fashion. Looking to cash in on a hot property, the producers bought the rights and tried to get Michelangelo Antonioni to direct, but he said no thanks, dudes. The project fell into the lap of director Carlo Vanzina and his screenwriter bro, Enrico Vanzina. The two (known for their work on comedy films) teamed up with fellow screenwriter Franco Ferrini, who had an amazing year in 1985 with Dario Argento’s Phenomena, Lamberto Bava’s Demons, and this film. Throw in some cocaine, diamonds, a panty-sniffing hotel clerk, brilliant cinematography by Giuseppe Maccari, and a robust, pulse-pounding score by Pino Donaggio, and hoo boy, you’ve got something special.
Finding a good giallo in the mid-1980s is no easy task. Even I have to admit that the pickings are slim, and I am a very forgiving (read as: desperate) soul. Nothing Underneath is a trashy joy to watch, and I can’t thank Vinegar Syndrome enough for giving this film such a great release. I especially like the artwork that doesn’t feature huge spoilers like the old VHS. Alas, if only Vanzina hadn’t also made Squillo AKA Call Girl (1996). Yikes. Luckily, he did make a sequel to Nothing Underneath in 2011 called The Last Fashion Show. I’m still waiting on an English-friendly release of that one at the time of this writing.
Speaking of unofficial sleazy sequels, it’s time to talk about Too Beautiful to Die (1988). After some models participate in getting their friend Sylvia (Gioia Scola) raped by literally holding her in place for her assailant, they start getting murdered one by one. Their agent/pimp Alex (Giovanni Tamberi) tells the girls to act cool while the police inspector (François Marthouret) is attempting to figure out just what the hell is going on. Suspicions immediately fall on Melanie Roberts (Florence Guérin), the hot new model in town. She’s captured the heart of music video director David (François-Eric Gendron) and their lovin’ is so damn hot that only the music of Toto can provide the soundtrack while they make the sex act.
Too Beautiful to Die (which was marketed as a sequel to Nothing Underneath) should’ve been called Too Slick to Live, thanks to its overabundance of dazzling visual flair. My biggest issue with the film is that I wish the filmmakers hadn’t revealed the inciting incident so soon, because I straight up loathe all of the victims. That makes them just a tad hard to care about. Thankfully, the camerawork is breathtaking, and the bonkers score keeps me invested in the goings-on. And truth be told, I haven’t seen anything with Florence Guérin that I haven’t enjoyed. I first saw her in Jess Franco’s Faceless (1987), but I learned to love her in Luigi Cozzi’s The Black Cat (1989) and Homicide in a Blue Light (1992).
The thing about Too Beautiful to Die is that while I’m not sold on the first two-thirds of the film beyond the drool-worthy style on display, the last half hour really drives this one home. It all just comes together so nicely. Come for the music video shoot that looks like a combination of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) and The Keep (1983) but stay for the computer shenanigans. You think your iMac is cool? Check out sleazebag Alex playing a porno game called “Porno Game” and the police reconstructing Sylvia’s skull that makes her look like a neanderthal.
I’ve probably said this before (at least I hope I have) but this is a great time to be a giallo film collector. So many of my most sought-after titles have landed themselves some quality releases that it’s hard to keep up with them all. Yes, there’s still some stragglers stuck in who-owns-the-damn-rights limbo, but man oh man, I for one am so spoiled right now. While I doubt either Nothing Underneath or Too Beautiful to Die will end up on most giallo fans’ top 10 lists, they are excellent examples of where the genre was headed before it fizzled out in the 1990s. I don’t think the giallo ever truly died, but I’ll save that for another review.
This double feature will likely make my favorite releases of 2021. Both films look spectacular though I had a little issue with the audio. Granted, this could’ve just been my rudimentary setup (or I’m just going deaf), but I experienced the whole loud music/sound effects versus quiet dialog with both films. Thankfully, there are English subtitles that I can turn on, so I don’t have to keep fiddling with the remote.
Both films have awesome commentary tracks by film critic Rachael Nisbet. She provides superb analyses of both films that are a real treat to listen to. Nothing Underneath also has a commentary track by the ever-excellent Hysteria Continues podcast. This disc has interviews with Enrico Vanzina, Ferrini, and Donaggio. I love hearing Donaggio talking about combining synthesizers with analog instruments to get a sound he wants for a score. There’s also an interview with actor Schanley who has very fond memories of his time in Italy while making the film. On the Too Beautiful to Die disc, there’s an interview with the film’s director Dario Piana plus some storyboards for a deleted scene and an alternate ending (that I wish they’d filmed).