The maniacs at the American Genre Film Archive have unleashed another package of unbridled madness on an unsuspecting public with this kung fu two-fer both of which brings fun and unique qualities to your martial arts mayhem marathon. Grab a gorilla, crank up the Pink Floyd and let’s get cookin’!
First in Shaolin Invincibles, Judy Lee sets out to seek revenge on the bastard that murdered her family. Helping her is another sexy young lady who also happens to be a badass, Lung Chun Erh, as well as the ever reliable Carter Wong who helps train them in the ways of ass-whipping. It’s a good thing because the cruel asshole that murdered her family has unstoppable kung fu gorillas working for him, under the control of a freaky wizard with a REALLY long tongue. Can the ladies learn to wield the Flash Float Sword technique and stab the shit out of folks’ heads? Can they hope to overcome those menacing gorillas that seem to employ a tiger claw technique more often than not? Can they defeat the big bad (who early on showed his badassery by beating the shit out the gorillas without breaking a sweat) and avenge lost loved ones? Watch and find out!
Up next in this director Cheng Hou double feature is the modern crime thriller Seven to One which makes a statement right out of the gate by having adorable ass-kicker Polly Shang Kwan beat down a whole gang of dudes without even messing up her hair. We folly Polly as she attempts to track down the hooligans who murdered her father and stole a priceless diamond ring heirloom. The plot here is frankly pretty thin and is an excuse for Polly and Yasuaki Karata to get into one groovy street fight after another, occasionally punctuated with car/bike/boat chases.
When one thinks of Taiwanese cinema, the contemplative and critically acclaimed arthouse films of Hou Hsiao-hsien and Edward Yang. The real heart and soul of Taiwanese cinema is of kinetic, crazy action cinema like the films included in this package. Both of these films are a hell of a lot of fun and packed full of kung fu mayhem. Shaolin Invincibles completely owns it’s incredibly cheeseball guy-in-gorilla-suit antics and still manages to build some groovy fight scenes around what are I’m sure incredibly restrictive costumes. Plus those blood geysers… Glorious… I cackled out loud. Seven To One is very different in tone with its “modern day”, cool ’70s setting with totally groovy fashion and a whole soundtrack of bootlegged music queues from the likes of Bread and Pink Floyd. Did I ever think I’d watch a martial arts movie that shamelessly rips off Dark Side of the Moon? Probably not, but it totally works. Seven To One is just a constant stream of action scenes with little exposition to get in the way, and it’s all the better because of it. These movies are exactly what I’ve come to expect from AGFA: balls out crazy nonsense that’s fun as hell to watch. Is Cheng Hou a good director? Not really. His transitions are often incredibly rough and his framing is occasionally off-center. But who cares when you have ass-kicking gorillas?
The technical side is really the only place where this release potentially disappoints. Both films are struck from the only surviving 35mm print of each and both look pretty rough with both prints having lots of scratches and fading. Seven To One in particular gets very spotty in places but also has a rather unique look to it as a result of the fading where the reds and pinks actually kind of pop as a result of all the other colors looking so washed out. It also gives it the look of a film that has gone through a partial Turner colorization process and honestly I kinda liked it. Fans of the more grindhouse look in a transfer (like vaunted exploitation fan Quentin Tarantino) may actually prefer the look of these prints, as they most likely reflect how folks back in the ’70s experienced these films at their local sleaze box or drive-in. The audio is also a bit of a mixed bag. While Shaolin Invincibles is presented in its original Mandarin language, the English subtitles are burned in to the print which is fine if you’re English but could put a damper on an international release of this film in other languages. Seven To One on the other hand is only offered in an English dub and is pretty standard (i.e. pretty bad) as far as ’70s kung fu dubs go.
Given this is a single-disc release with two films on it, I wasn’t expecting this to be loaded with extras. As a result, it really only has one, but it’s a cool one. AGFA has included a mega-groovy 27-minute kung fu trailer reel which includes trailers for Attack to Kill, The Flying Fists (which begins with a graphic neutering!), The Eagle’s Killer, The Man from Hong Kong, Force Four, Force Five, Cheetah on Fire (Donnie Yen ftw!) and more. I love me a fun trailer compilation and these kinds of extras are always appreciated.
Punch! Punch! Kick! Stab! Yes, this is very cool stuff. If you want lots of ass-kicking with kung fu gorillas and street brawls, this double feature should sate even the most die-hard cineaste’s hunger.