AGFA and Something Weird collaborated to put together a whopping three hour and forty-nine-minute compilation of educational short films meant to frighten children into behaving safely. While the intent behind these shorts is commendable, the acting and production values are hilariously bad. I saw a literal “Don’t run with scissors” PSA (public service announcement). One of my favorite early ones involved a boy falling down a cliff face where a ragdoll was substituted in a cut. Arms and legs flapped around like the inflatable guy in front of a used car dealership. In the second short, the same kid stumbles into injuring himself in every scenario, making him the unluckiest child in the universe. Another clip deals with safety on the farm but mainly focused on handling gasoline and kerosene. One of the more unhinged clips involved a distracted mother pouring gasoline onto a hot stove top, blowing up herself and the kitchen. Another segment was a safety super-heroine who appears in front of children right before they’re about to do something dumb. Her powers were granted to her by aliens who want her to spread the message of safety across the globe. She proceeds to only save children from mundane situations in a single small town. Her outfit looks like a low-budget Wonder Woman with a silvery futuristic flair. One safety video came from across the pond and stresses the importance of keeping a tidy work area in a British office building. The video makes the mundane look like a death trap and of course, there is a character who is vehemently anti-cleaning for no discernible reason.

“Shake hands with Danger” is a classic that I previously watched Rifftrax cover. It has a country theme song that plays after every accident. “Shake Hands With Danger” has a commentary track with songwriter Jim Stringer and some members of the AGFA staff. Stringer talks about his career of writing and performing music for all kinds of films and how he danced in one of the films that no one can find. The AGFA comments that it is his new mission to uncover that film.

Mr. Flame also has a commentary track with several AGFA members. They point out that there is a lack of information about who made Mr. Flame, leaving its origins a mystery. The crew has good banter, and you can tell that they love what they do. Mr. Flame’s fire mascot is very distinctive and adorns the cover of this release as one of the strangest visuals in the feature.

After the 3 hour and 48-minute mixtape, there is another 1 hour scare and safety video mixtape where 36 hours of safety videos were edited down to a blast of rapid-fire gibberish. The mixtape was created from a treasure trove of Something Weird releases that the AGFA team combed through to pull out their favorite moments. The extra hour of word salad puts the run time for the main event, commentaries, and extras at more than five hours. Additionally, the release comes with a booklet full of funny reviews/blurbs for the different shorts.

I have previously reviewed AGFA mixtapes and have a soft spot for them. I am biased because I love these things. They create a sense of nostalgia while highlighting everything from the tedious to the insane. The subject matter goes from universal to incredibly niche, but it never stops being entertaining.