The “evil” environmentalist terrorist group C.L.E.A.N Space has come out with a brilliant plan. Since the Earth is doomed to be destroyed from pollution, they have collectively decided to rescue space from the same fate. To show the world they mean business they kidnap a space shuttle and threaten to destroy any object that leaves the Earth’s atmosphere. Only one woman can save the day. Panther (Sybil Danning) and her squad of deadly female commandos.

Panther Squad (1984) is a bizarre action vehicle for cult sensation Sybil Danning (Howling 2, LA Bounty). On paper, it looks great, but the finished product leaves a lot to be desired and feels embarrassing for all involved. It’s not what many would consider essential for Blu-ray. But I’m glad Full Moon has released this and gave me a chance to revisit it.

I have some personal history with this movie. I bought a copy of the Lighting Video release back when Knoxville TN still had a few video stores that were getting rid of their VHS backlogs. I loved the painted artwork on the cover and gladly spend the 75 cents to buy it. I ended up watching it late at night when I was recovering from a fever. It felt like It was some sort of action experiment created by aliens. The next day I bragged to my friends about how insane it was and invited some of my high school buddies over for a movie night. As the movie played we were all completely bored and confused. Suddenly the movie just didn’t work. It felt lazy, slapped together, and uninspired. Even the bonkers ending with the single-shot ray gun didn’t do it for us. So to make up for the evening, we started to make in-jokes about the movie and I would be harassed with “excuse me you need to apologize for Panther Squad!”

I still proudly own the VHS tape, but I rarely watch it. It felt like it was just a bizarre dud. Yeah, I had jokes about it but I didn’t need to watch it again. My attitude changed when I noticed that Full Moon was going to release the movie on DVD, and better yet Blu-ray. What? That movie is getting a Blu-ray? Why?. Now to be fair this is a shitty attitude for me to hold onto. I quickly started to question myself on my original conflicting viewings of the movie. And then the reviews started coming in on Facebook and Letterboxd. People were loving it. So I had to see the movie again. And you know what? It is something to behold.

Panther Squad is by no means a good movie. Its got a lot of pacing issues and an uninspired story. By action movie standards it’s a complete wreck. But looking passed these issues, it’s still a one of a kind cheese-fest. The experience of watching it is just intoxicating. Everything doesn’t click. And then it dawned on me that it’s a bit of a spoof of the genre.

The movie was a product of the Paris based film company, Eurocine. They have funded and released a lot of Jess Franco’s more bizarre films, and oddities of all genres like Devil’s Kiss. Their company brand has released some fun and tone-deaf exploitation films, that are completely different then titles you could see coming from Spain or Italy. It may be a little smug of me to say, but they have a slight wine buzz and cheese rot quality. Their films are sleazy with some traces of art. And I mean this all lovely.

As an action movie, this just doesn’t work. But as a spoof its a bit of tongue in cheek fun. Sybil Danning is having a blast as the title character. If she is there for a vacation, then it’s a good one. Jack Taylor (Vampire’s Night Orgy) completely steals the movie as the drunk agent who is basically Bosley for Danning’s own version of “Charlie’s Angels”. He has two of the movie’s best scenes. The first being him reading a magazine and shooting an assassin without looking. Completely disinterested in the suspense of the situation. The second scene is even wackier, as he walks into the bar after the Panther Squad defeats a whole room full of bad guys. He steps over the wounded men, and grabs a bottle from the bar and pours a drink. The Panther Squad itself is a bit of a joke, as none of the girls are given names. Danning just looks at them and screams hey you whenever she needs their attention.

It’s not great cinema, but Panther Squad is a fun experiment for a movie. Everything feels tact on and lazy. It has all the elements you might want. Female commandos, Bar fights, spaceships, car chases, a terrorist plot, an environmental message, and laser guns. It’s just all displayed in a half-ass way. But I can’t get mad at it. It’s only trying to be what it is, a goofy action flick. And at the end of the day, it’s just that. So Panther Squad, I am the one who is sorry.

Full Moon has done a decent job bringing this euro cult oddity to Blu-ray. The 2.0 English audio is ok, but a little too soft. The dialogue is easy to understand but some scenes are uneven and too quiet. The 5.1 English audio track is a little louder but nothing amazing. That said there is happily no hiss or pops. There are no English subtitles included. The 1080p HD picture is also a little soft. It is still the best looking the movie has ever looked with no clear DNR issues. The colors are nice but some shots look out of focus.

In terms of Extras, There is an audio commentary with Chris Alexander and Sybil Danning. It’s not listed on the Blu-ray case, but its a nice addition to the disc. The track is fun with Danning talking about her career. She also mentions how she kept her leather outfit from the movie. It goes off-topic often but is still a breezy listen. Sadly the quality is a little bad in spots.

Panther Squad is a fun ride. It’s not for everyone, but if you got some friends over and have a few beers, it’s a fun night at the movies. Recommended.

Director- Pierre Chevalier

Cast- Sybil Danning, Jack Taylor

Country of Origin- France/ Spain/ Belgium

Discs- 1

Distributor- Full Moon

Reviewer- Tyler Miller