Besties, Leonore (Sandra Mozarowsky) and Sylvia (Victoria Vera), dream of getting out of their finishing school/orphanage someday. Their lives are pretty miserable thanks to the domineering headmistress, Miss Wilkins (Norma Kastel), who doles out cruel (and kinda kinky) punishments for the smallest infractions. Their best chance of happiness is becoming maids for rich people. What the girls don’t know is that they are actually Guinea pigs for a mad scientist -with the imposing name of Bob Williams (Carlos Mendy)- who’s going to lobotomize them and then go to hilariously elaborate lengths to convince the world that these girls are dead. What could his purpose possibly be for these shenanigans? What demented and diabolical plan does this freako have? You’ll just have to watch and find out! And hey, I know what you’re thinking… Did “Downton Abbey” rip this off or what? Yes, it did, but please don’t look that up.

Sadly, the Spanish director of School of Death (1975), Pedro L. Ramírez, seems to have retired immediately after this film, leaving a career in the business that spanned nearly 30 years. The only titles of his that I’m familiar with are a pair of spaghetti westerns and an intriguingly entitled giallo called The Fish with the Eyes of Gold (1974). I wish he would’ve had a chance to make some more creaky horror films. School of Death (1975) has been making rounds in the bootleg circuit for a while now and I kept meaning to check it out. Thankfully, good old Mondo Macabro made this one a priority by releasing it on Blu-ray looking all pretty and stuff.

Norma Kastel made some cool appearances in genre cinema during her short career with Jess Franco’s Tender and Perverse Emanuelle (1973) and León Klimovsky’s delightful Paul Naschy romp, Vengeance of the Zombies (also 1973). The lovely Sandra Mozarowsky was in Amando de Ossorio’s fourth and final film in the Blind Dead series, Night of the Seagulls, the same year as School of Death. Tragically, her career was cut short when she fell from her fourth-floor apartment balcony under mysterious circumstances. Victoria Vera was in one of my all-time favorite Italian horror oddities, Monster Dog (1984), starring Alice Cooper of all people. She’s excellent in School of Death and I want to see even more of her films now.

My only complaint about School of Death is that it feels about 5 minutes too long. There are a couple of exposition dumping scenes that had me checking that old running time and glaring murderously at my clock in an attempt to psychically make time go faster. It turns out that I do not have that superpower yet, at least not in any provable way. I assure you that I will continue to work on that! That being said, I am loving the old school, gothic horror vibe even with the surprisingly restrained gore effects. Considering when this was released, I’m shocked there wasn’t more bloodletting or any gore on display. Heck, this might even be the least sexy girls’ school horror film ever made as all of the potential naughtiness is kept rigidly (heh heh) in check. The locations, sets, foggy scenes, and lighting are all gorgeous to behold. And for all you future pseudoscientists out there, consider this a proper training film in how the human brain doesn’t work with a short tutorial on medical magic!

Mondo Macabro’s release of School of Death looks luscious and visually I can’t find anything to complain about. I’ve noticed over the years that Spanish horror from this time period often looks immaculate when transferred to Blu-ray by the right folks. The trouble comes from the English dub track. It’s distorted with an annoying hiss that happens during the dialogue. It’s not unwatchable but flipping it over to the Spanish track with English subtitles is the way to go. It sounds perfectly clear to my ears. As for extras, there is an excellent commentary track with author Kat Ellinger. She gives a cool analysis as always and makes a great case for why you should give this overlooked and often dismissed film a chance.