Poor Paula (Jill Schoelen)! She has an annoying (but hunky) boyfriend named Dwight (Brad Pitt), an obnoxious best friend (Brenda James), and a strict district attorney daddy (Martin Mull). Her teachers are all perverted weirdos. Even her lascivious principal, Mr. Dante (Roddy McDowall), can’t keep his bulging, horny eyes off her backside. As if her…
The Heroic Trio / Executioners – 4K + Blu-ray Review (The Criterion Collection)
The Heroic Trio (1993) tells the story of a mysterious cult that is stealing babies from the city for nefarious purposes and the useless cops can only stand by and watch. I mean, they are kinda out of their league since Ching (Michelle Yeoh), the person snatching these kids, can turn invisible and run up…
The Bounty Hunter Trilogy [Radiance] Blu-Ray Review
The first film in the Bounty Hunter Trilogy, Killer’s Mission, introduces us to the titular bounty hunter (but also doctor?), Shikoro Ichibei (played by the great Wakayama Tomisaburo who would go on to star in the awesome Lone Wolf & Cub films), who is given an assignment by the shogun to go investigate a Dutch…
The Dead Mother [Radiance] Blu-ray Review
A thief named Ismael breaks into an art gallery with the intent of executing a simple burglary. Before we the audience fully register what has happened, the thief has callously murdered a woman while her daughter watches. The girl walks up to her mother, unable to comprehend what has happened. She sees Ismael and he…
The Defilers and A Smell of Honey, A Swallow of Brine – Blu-ray Review (AGFA/Vinegar Syndrome)
The Defilers (1965) is about two friends, Carl and Jamie, a couple of assholes who are always out for kicks, which means trying to sex up the ladies and successfully smoking doobies. Thanks to his father being a hotshot wheeler and dealer about town, Carl has secured himself a party space/sex dungeon in a nasty…
The Curse of the Screaming Dead – Blu-ray Review (Vinegar Syndrome)
A bunch of longhairs go on a hunting party from hell, arguing over petty nonsense and incurring the wrath of some undead Civil War zombies. The Curse of the Screaming Dead (1982) is one of the single most annoying films I’ve sat through in quite a long time. The story is disjointed and tedious, and…
Lycan Colony Blu-ray Review [Visual Vengeance]
An alcoholic surgeon that everyone calls Dr. Dan screws up big time on the job and finds himself ostracized from his peers and forced to uproot his family and move to a small town in New Hampshire. If only tourists during the fall season were the worst things they have to worry about! As you…
Dr. Caligari – Blu-ray Review (Mondo Macabro)
Even though she just got back from her stay the Caligari Insane Asylum, frustrated housewife Mrs. Van Houten (Laura Albert) is sent back right in when her wimpy dork of a husband can’t abide her unbridled horniness. This delights the malevolent Dr. Caligari (Madeleine Reynal), who uses every opportunity to further her wild experiments in…
Le Combat Dans L’Ile Blu-ray Review [Radiance Films]
Clément (Jean-Louis Trintignant) is living a double life. Unbeknownst to his former actress wife Anne (an always ethereal Romy Schneider) in a marriage ranging from shaky to actively hostile, he is secretly a right-wing terrorist. Clément is forced to flee the city with Anne after a botched assassination attempt. He heads to the countryside and…
Cushing Curiosities – Blu-ray Boxset Review (Severin Films)
Peter Cushing is not my dad. Please stop asking. I know that he and I have the same bone structure and body type AND level of success/talent, but I checked the DNA and it just ain’t matchin’. Despite not being my father, Peter Cushing was just great. I know you already know it, so let’s…