Poor Paula (Jill Schoelen)! She has an annoying (but hunky) boyfriend named Dwight (Brad Pitt), an obnoxious best friend (Brenda James), and a strict district attorney daddy (Martin Mull). Her teachers are all perverted weirdos. Even her lascivious principal, Mr. Dante (Roddy McDowall), can’t keep his bulging, horny eyes off her backside. As if her…
The Heroic Trio / Executioners – 4K + Blu-ray Review (The Criterion Collection)
The Heroic Trio (1993) tells the story of a mysterious cult that is stealing babies from the city for nefarious purposes and the useless cops can only stand by and watch. I mean, they are kinda out of their league since Ching (Michelle Yeoh), the person snatching these kids, can turn invisible and run up…
UHD Review – Burial Ground – Nights of Terror (Severin Films)
It could be argued that Burial Ground – Nights of Terror is the greatest film of all time.I am willing to make that argument.Also, the following review refers to Severin’s prior 2016 restoration (which was already excellent). Skip to the bottom for 4K notes. Screw your Avatars, The Blu-ray format was made for Burial Ground,…
UHD Review – Zombie Holocaust (Dr. Butcher MD) – Severin Films
As a quick refresher to readers here the Italian cannibal film cycle started as a response to the “Mondo” film trend in the mid-70’s by a pair of films, Man from Deep River by Umberto Lenzi, and Last Cannibal World by Ruggero Deodato. It would be these 2 directors, and 2 of their subsequent films…
Killer Condom – 4K Ultra HD/Blu-ray Review (Vinegar Syndrome)
If you haven’t seen Killer Condom before, you should skip my paragraph of plot description because my enjoyment of the film was greatly increased by going in as cold and limp as possible. Detective Luigi Mackeroni (Udo Samel) is known for two things on the filthy and naughty streets of New York City: his big…
Tenebrae – 4K UHD and Blu-ray Review (Synapse Films)
When Dario Argento finished Inferno in 1980, everyone expected him to complete the Three Mothers trilogy with another supernatural horror film. Instead, he said, “I’m going to make the greatest giallo ever made… um… again!” The first time I saw Tenebrae, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Even though some pesky Google searches had spoiled a…
Ghoulies – 4K UHD and Blu-ray Review (MVD Rewind Collection)
At one of them there fancy mansions, somewhere in Hollywood, a warlock named Malcolm Graves (Michael Des Barres) is about to sacrifice his only child for some totally like powerful powers and stuff. Malcolm’s wife, to whom he definitely promised that he wouldn’t sacrifice their baby, interrupts the ceremony and takes her son’s place at…
The Girl from Rio – 4K Ultra HD / Blu-ray Review (Blue Underground)
After stealing 10 million dollars in stolen money, Jeff Sutton (Richard Wyler) finds himself on the run in Rio de Janeiro. First, he’s pursued by Sir Masius (George Sanders), a gangster who has as much style and class as he does henchman. And trust me, he has a lot of henchmen. Next, Jeff runs afoul…
UHD/BD Review – Night of the Demons 1/2 (Scream Factory)
This review was originally published in 2014 as part of a review of both Night of the Demons and Witchboard and some of the context reflects that. Night of the Demons Kevin S. Tenney owned aspects of my horror-worshipping childhood, and I didn’t even know it. I have always considered myself a pop-culture archaeologist, a…
Drowning by Numbers UHD Blu-ray Review [Severin]
Three, six, nine, twelve, fifteen, eighteen, twenty-one… It’s all a game until it’s not. Coming this month from Severin is the baffling, gorgeous and deeply fascinating Peter Greenaway film Drowning by Numbers in a glorious new UHD transfer. Where does this film rank in the pantheon of weirdo auteurist Greenaway’s ouevre? Three generations of women,…